Well, I could just say “the ceiling.” But that’s not clever anymore, so I guess I’ll just have to tell you my latest evil plan.

I- with my Ph. D in Horribleness- have concocted a truly horrible scheme for Christmas that will make the Grinch seem about as threatening as the green fuzz you find under your refrigerator! I have invented an Un-Freeze Ray, which, unlike the Freeze Ray, has nothing to do with time- I’ll melt all the snow and the city will have no choice but to resume operations as normal, instead of having the officials just… lying around… due to being unable to reach their offices in dangerous road conditions! 

…Hey, if the system isn’t going to work, it obviously doesn’t deserve a break.